Before discussing female ejaculation I will first address female body fluids in
general. Our society, as well as most others, views all forms of liquid that are
produced by the female body with great disdain. Women are not permitted to
openly perform most normal bodily functions; it is not seen as being feminine.
Female body fluids are even considered harmful by many; there are societies in
which menstruating women are thought to cause crops to fail and livestock to
die. This creates a significant barrier to sexual pleasure for women.
Women are expected to maintain a dry pristine appearance regardless of their
current physical activity. Mothers once told their daughters it was unwise to
engage in sports, as boys would see them sweaty and disheveled and this was seen
as unattractive. Today, deodorant and antiperspirant ads drive home the idea,
"Do not let them see you sweat." Women are told they need special stronger
deodorants made just for them. Tampon and sanitary napkin advertising stresses
the products ability to conceal a woman's menstruation from others more than
their primary task of absorbing menses. Most women would prefer to have their
fingernails ripped out one by one than be seen having an "accident;"
menstruating in public. There are girls and women who learn to dislike the idea
of urinating in a public bathroom, holding their urine all day until they get
home. Are they perhaps afraid to be seen as less than pure by others?
Sweaty men are seen as sexual, virile. Their manhood is measured by their
ability to produce large quantities of semen. They write their name in the snow
with their urine and see who can ejaculate the furthest. Men making a mess with
their ejaculate is seen as unavoidable, normal, and is never questioned. It is
even idolized in adult movies. Men can ejaculate on the face, in the mouth, and
on and in the body of their partner and it is seen as normal. If a woman gets
her body fluids on her partner that is another story, she has made a dirty mess.
This is an interesting double standard. If a man can cover his partner with his
body fluids, a woman should be able to do the same.
Female sexuality is marred by these unwritten laws. It is hard to relax and
enjoy sex if you are worried about sweating heavily or producing too much
vaginal lubrication. Women who produce large quantities of vaginal lubrication,
sweat, and who ejaculate have been known to avoid sex rather than expose their
partner or themselves to these fluids. Since women have no control over the
release of these fluids during sexual activities some avoid sex all together
rather than risk being seen as less than feminine by their partner. Though a
woman's desire for sex may increase during her menstrual period she may not
engage in sex during this time because she fears she will make a mess of things
and is inherently undesirable. Social mores concerning female body fluids can
significantly restrict female sexuality and pleasure.
Before a woman can learn to ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, and enjoy sex in
general she must accept her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the
nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication, menses,
ejaculate, or urine. These fluids are a normal and natural part of women's
lives. There is nothing that is inherently bad about them. A woman cannot allow
herself to ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms if she
cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate arises. Ladies, give
yourself permission to get wet and messy. Give yourself permission to have fun
and enjoy sex.
As a result of the taboos concerning female body fluids, the main motivation
behind the studies into female ejaculation appears to be the determination of
whether or not the expelled fluid is urine. Some believe that if a woman
ejaculates a liquid that is not urine like a man, it is normal and she cannot
help it, she is normal. If she ejaculates urine they suggest she has a medical
problem and is not normal. Authors who write about the G spot strive to persuade
their readers that female ejaculate is not urine. Why this great importance over
the exact nature of this fluid squirting from women's bodies? Does it really
matter whether it is urine or ejaculate? If a woman gets a thrill out of
squirting urine at the moment of orgasm, are we to say she has a problem? Do we
mean to take this pleasure away from her? If a woman squirts urine at the moment
of orgasm, let her, if she ejaculates uncontrollably, so be it. It is not our
place to judge a woman's sexual pleasure.
A Female Prostate?
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