Female Body Fluids
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Before discussing female ejaculation I will first address female body fluids in general. Our society, as well as most others, views all forms of liquid that are produced by the female body with great disdain. Women are not permitted to openly perform most normal bodily functions; it is not seen as being feminine. Female body fluids are even considered harmful by many; there are societies in which menstruating women are thought to cause crops to fail and livestock to die. This creates a significant barrier to sexual pleasure for women.
Women are expected to maintain a dry pristine appearance regardless of their current physical activity. Mothers once told their daughters it was unwise to engage in sports, as boys would see them sweaty and disheveled and this was seen as unattractive. Today, deodorant and antiperspirant ads drive home the idea, "Do not let them see you sweat." Women are told they need special stronger deodorants made just for them. Tampon and sanitary napkin advertising stresses the products ability to conceal a woman's menstruation from others more than their primary task of absorbing menses. Most women would prefer to have their fingernails ripped out one by one than be seen having an "accident;" menstruating in public. There are girls and women who learn to dislike the idea of urinating in a public bathroom, holding their urine all day until they get home. Are they perhaps afraid to be seen as less than pure by others?
Sweaty men are seen as sexual, virile. Their manhood is measured by their ability to produce large quantities of semen. They write their name in the snow with their urine and see who can ejaculate the furthest. Men making a mess with their ejaculate is seen as unavoidable, normal, and is never questioned. It is even idolized in adult movies. Men can ejaculate on the face, in the mouth, and on and in the body of their partner and it is seen as normal. If a woman gets her body fluids on her partner that is another story, she has made a dirty mess. This is an interesting double standard. If a man can cover his partner with his body fluids, a woman should be able to do the same.
Female sexuality is marred by these unwritten laws. It is hard to relax and enjoy sex if you are worried about sweating heavily or producing too much vaginal lubrication. Women who produce large quantities of vaginal lubrication, sweat, and who ejaculate have been known to avoid sex rather than expose their partner or themselves to these fluids. Since women have no control over the release of these fluids during sexual activities some avoid sex all together rather than risk being seen as less than feminine by their partner. Though a woman's desire for sex may increase during her menstrual period she may not engage in sex during this time because she fears she will make a mess of things and is inherently undesirable. Social mores concerning female body fluids can significantly restrict female sexuality and pleasure.
Before a woman can learn to ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, and enjoy sex in general she must accept her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication, menses, ejaculate, or urine. These fluids are a normal and natural part of women's lives. There is nothing that is inherently bad about them. A woman cannot allow herself to ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms if she cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate arises. Ladies, give yourself permission to get wet and messy. Give yourself permission to have fun and enjoy sex.
As a result of the taboos concerning female body fluids, the main motivation behind the studies into female ejaculation appears to be the determination of whether or not the expelled fluid is urine. Some believe that if a woman ejaculates a liquid that is not urine like a man, it is normal and she cannot help it, she is normal. If she ejaculates urine they suggest she has a medical problem and is not normal. Authors who write about the G spot strive to persuade their readers that female ejaculate is not urine. Why this great importance over the exact nature of this fluid squirting from women's bodies? Does it really matter whether it is urine or ejaculate? If a woman gets a thrill out of squirting urine at the moment of orgasm, are we to say she has a problem? Do we mean to take this pleasure away from her? If a woman squirts urine at the moment of orgasm, let her, if she ejaculates uncontrollably, so be it. It is not our place to judge a woman's sexual pleasure.
A Female Prostate?
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During early fetal development both male and female fetuses start out being physically female; prior to the male fetus being able to produce its own hormones. The production of testosterone in male fetuses is not triggered until around the seventh or eighth week of fetal development; by the presence of the Y chromosome. This necessitates that female fetuses initially have rudimentary organs that could develop into either "male" or "female" reproductive and sexual organs. As a result, the tissue that develops into the male prostate gland also exists in women.
From the book: The Ciba Collection of Medical Illustrations: Volume 2, Reproductive System
Prepared by: Frank H. Netter, M.D.
Copyright 1954 and 1965 Ciba Pharmaceutical Company.
The female prostate is actually a collection of paraurethral glands. These glands surround the female urethra on all sides and empty into it through many small ducts. "Paraurethral" simply means "near the urethra." These glands can be seen in the two illustrations shown above. (Additional illustrations from the book Eve's Secrets by Josephine Lowndes Sevely can be seen in the Anatomy section.) The paraurethral glands are also called "Skene's Glands." The largest of these glands, there may be as many as thirty or more, are located near the urethral orifice and may in some cases open into the vulva. The quantity, size, and placement of these glands varies from woman to woman. During sexual arousal the paraurethral glands fill with fluid and may in some cases be felt through the vaginal wall; as demonstrated in the illustration at the top of the page. These glands produce the same alkaline fluid as the male prostate.
Urethral Sponge, Skene's Glands,
Paraurethral Glands, or Prostate?
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Since the female pararethral glands do not have the same structure as the male
prostate, it is not really appropriate to say women have a prostate gland. The
female paraurethral glands do not form together into a single gland that drains
through two ducts into the urethra as in the case of the male. The term "female
prostate" is often employed since people already have some familiarity with the
"male prostate" and can make a correlation between the two, even if they do not
believe you. If you say "paraurethral glands," people usually have no idea as to
what you are talking about. There are enough similarities between the two that
it not a completely inappropriate statement to make, and simplifies the
explanation, but not the debate.
There has been an ongoing debate concerning the presence of the female
paraurethral glands for hundreds of years. Even before the paraurethral glands
were observed, the fluid produced by them had been known to exist since perhaps
the dawn of time. Female ejaculation was once thought to be required if
conception was to occur; the mixing of the male and female fluids was thought to
result in conception. Early investigators, 1700's to present, of human anatomy
have observed what appeared to them to be, two glands that drained into the
urethra, a female prostate, multiple ducts that drained into the urethra, a
mixture of small and large ducts and glands, or no ducts and glands at all. Why
such varying observations and opinions? Primarily the differences in their
observations can be attributed to the fact the earlier observers did not have
the same type or level of education, and the anatomy of the paraurethral glands
vary from woman to woman. Add to this, the language barrier and confusion caused
by translations and passage of time. It is likely they were all correct, given
the circumstances of their observations.
In the above illustration by Dr. Netter, he has labeled some of the glands as
para-urethal or pari-urethral and the ones located closest to the urethral
orifice as Skene's glands. The two glands located closest to the vulva are often
called "Skene's glands." This is because Skene oberserved only two glands and
named them after himself; believing he was the first to observe them. His
description of the paraurethral glands has taken hold, as well as his name, even
though others had already known about the existence of a female prostate, or
multiple paraurethral glands, for at least one hundred years prior. As can been
seen in the illustration shown below, others have supported the two gland theory
ever since. The difference in the names used to describe these glands and their
perceived quantity has led to some confusion. The paraurethral glands and
Skene's glands are though the same thing.
What Causes the Swelling?
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In the illustration shown at the top of the page, the tissue surrounding the
urethra is labeled as the "urethral sponge;" the paraurethal glands are imbedded
in this tissue. The tissue surrounding the female urethra is thought by many to
be the same as that surrounding the male urethra; corpus spongiosum. The tissue
surrounding the female urethra fills with blood during sexual arousal, as is the
case in the male. This results in the tissue becoming firm to the touch. If the
end result is the same, the cause would have to be the same, this would seem to
make sense.
I propose this may not be the case. The corpus spongiosum tissue of the penis
does not extend as far as the prostate gland. The female inner labia and
vestibule glands are comprised of corpus spongiosum and would have formed the
tissue surrounding the urethra as it passed through the penis had the genetic
coding specified male, not female. If we have already accounted for the erectile
tissue in women, how can it also surround the paraurethral glands; especially
since this is not the case in men? To my untrained eyes, two photographs in
Sevely's book showing the cross-sections of the male and female urethras do not
appear to show the same type tissue surrounding the male and female urethras.
For these photographs to show the same types of tissue would they not have to be
cross-sections of the male and female prostate? I believe these photographs show
the male corpus spongiosum and the female paraurethral glands. One would not
then expect to see the same type tissue.
The female urethra is part of the vagina, not a totally separate organ. The
urethra passes through the tissue of the vagina. The vagina and urethra cannot
be separated as is usually indicated in anatomy illustrations. In addition, the
vagina has a rich blood supply and fills with blood during sexual arousal. This
increased blood flow has already been found to cause vaginal lubrication;
sometimes in significant amounts. If the tissue surrounding the urethra is
engorged with blood, is it not possible the paraurethral glands kick into high
gear and fill with prostatic fluid?
I propose the discernable swelling surrounding the female urethra is caused by
the accumulation of alkaline fluid in the paraurethral glands; not solely by the
swelling of erectile tissue. The tissue surrounding the urethra is rich in blood
vessels; as the below illustrations clearly show. The illustration from Sevely's
book shown above reveals a large collection of glands, one being quite large, a
short distance into and above the vagina. This would perhaps account for the
small area that swells and projects into the vagina, and that in some cases can
be felt through the vaginal wall. It may also account for the concept of a "G
spot."
NOTE: The clitoris surrounds the urethra on three sides, as does the vestibule
glands and bulbocavernous muscles, along the outer third of the urethra. The
clitoris and vestibule glands also swell with blood during sexual arousal.
From the book: The Ciba Collection of Medical Illustrations: Volume 2,
Reproductive System
Prepared by: Frank H. Netter, M.D.
Copyright 1954 and 1965 Ciba Pharmaceutical Company.
Do All Women Ejaculate?
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The latest research indicates the possibility that all women produce female
ejaculate, even if they are not aware of it. The expelled or released fluid is
not urine, it is an alkaline liquid secreted by the paraurethral glands. The
paraurethral glands produce an enzyme called prostatic acid phosphatase (PAP)
and glucose (a sugar). These substances have been found in much higher
quantities in female ejaculate than are found in urine. The fluid from the
paraurethral glands is released or expelled during orgasm as a result of pelvic
muscle contractions. Stimulation of the G spot or paraurethral gland is not
required for this to occur and it may occur in the absence of orgasm. The glands
may simply overflow with fluid and as a result it seeps out.
Urine or Ejaculate?
I have already explained above that the paraurethral glands do in fact produce
an alkaline fluid. In some cases, all of the fluid emitted from a woman's
urethra is ejaculate. In other cases, the liquid is likely a mixture of
ejaculate and urine, or only urine. There has not been sufficient research done
to clarify exactly what the fluid is, in every instance. The research that has
been done often provided conflicting results. There is research that concludes
it is only ejaculate or that it is mostly urine with traces of ejaculate. It is
clear though that most if not all women produce the alkaline fluid in at least
small quantities. It may seep out versus be expelled and be confused with sweat
and vaginal lubrication.
Is a woman urinating or ejaculating? This is a question that cannot be answer
outside a medical lab. There is no accurate way of determining whether a woman
is voluntarily squirting urine, experiencing incontinence, or ejaculating at the
moment of orgasm. These fluids all exit the body through the urethra so the
visible source is the same for them all. I'm not aware of any color, taste, or
scent test that can be applied to the expelled liquid that will accurately
distinguish them from one another. We are left with no other choice than to see
them as indistinguishable, the same.
NOTE: In her book The Clitoral Truth Rebecca Chalker states a simple smell test
will tell you if it is urine or ejaculate. If the fluid has a acrid scent, it is
urine. This may be true but what difference does or should it make? My concern
is that if a woman or her partner decides she is squirting urine then they may
see it as undesirable; inappropriate. My position is, it really does not matter
what type of fluid is expelled and being concerned about it may create a barrier
to pleasure for women. It is okay to be curious about these fluids, that is only
natural, but it is not appropriate to judge them.
If you read the information presented on the website of Dr. Gary Schubach, he
states his research has shown the majority of the fluid that is expelled
originates in the bladder, but this expelled fluid is not quite normal urine. In
his research, the woman’s bladder was emptied using a catheter prior to orgasm.
During orgasm, a catheter was in place and connected to a urine collection bag.
Analysis of the fluid expelled during orgasm is the basis for his claim. There
is one flaw with his methodology; the bladder sphincter is normally closed. If
it were not, urine would simply flow out and there would be no "ejaculation" of
fluid. What is the significance of creating an artificial passage and collecting
the fluid expelled from the bladder during pelvic muscles contractions? During
orgasm, does this passage normally exists even if only momentarily? Some claim
otherwise or that fluid enters the bladder rather than exiting from it. Even if
fluid does collect in the bladder during sexual arousal, would it normally be
expelled during orgasm? Are all women the same or are there "normal variations?"
Dr. Schybach's research is still important but it provides only part of the
picture. Research into female ejaculation is still in its infancy so I am sure
we can find flaws in all the studies when looking back at them, especially as
new research becomes available.
Women who expel fluid during orgasm report the color, smell, consistency, and
even taste, varies from one occurrence to the next. (It is safe for a person to
taste their own ejaculate, and for couples who already exchange body fluids, but
not for couples needing to practice safe sex.) Some have found their menstrual
cycle influences the type of fluid expelled. What you eat is likely to have an
effect on it, as will how much liquid you have consumed. There are women who
report that it is sometimes clear and odorless, other times thick and pungent.
Others report that it sometimes looks and smells like urine. It is safe to say,
most women's ejaculate will vary with time, even during a single sexual episode.
How Much Liquid is Released?
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The amount of fluid released by the paraurethral glands is reported to vary from
a couple drops to almost two cups, 15 ounces [444 ml]. Two cups is a lot of
liquid, can it really be that much? The paraurethral glands surround the urethra
in an area about half an inch [1.25 cm] in diameter and 1.5 inches [3.8 cm] in
length. An area of this size when filled with water can hold 0.163 oz [4.8 ml].
Even if the glands were to swell to fill an area 1 inch (2.5 cm] in diameter and
2 inches [5 cm] in length they could still only hold 0.87 oz [26 ml]. If the
paraurethral glands can store less than 1 oz of liquid where does the other 14
ounces come from? Keep in mind these glands will continue to produce fluid for
as long as a woman is sexually aroused, and as result a woman could produce more
than 1 oz of ejaculate if multiple, or a continuous, releases of fluid occurred.
One study found women produced 30 to 50 ccs [7 to 15 oz][30 to 50 ml] in 30 to
50 seconds. To produce this much fluid the glands would need to fill and empty
once or more times per second. That means the paraurethral glands would need to
produce 3 to 5 ccs [0.23 to 0.30 oz][3 to 5 ml] per second on average. If the
paraurethral glands do have the capacity to fill and empty at a rapid rate, that
would explain the large volumes of fluid measured by some investigators. It
would also mean the longer a woman's orgasm lasted, the more she would
ejaculate; as is often the case. If this is all true, it is possible for a woman
to ejaculate a considerable amount of fluid without it being urine or liquid
from the bladder. Obviously, more research needs to be done to clarify this;
perhaps using ultrasound to observe the glands during sexual arousal and orgasm.
Who Has A G Spot?
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Defining the "Grafenberg spot" or "G spot" is not a simple task. Most would
simply say it is an area of high sensitivity located within the paraurethral
structures. The problem with this definition is, the sensitivity of this area is
not likely to be constant. If a woman is not sexually aroused, she may not have
a G spot. If the same woman is highly aroused and her paraurethral glands are
engorged with prostatic fluid, she may have a very distinct G spot. There are
perhaps women who are not aware of a G spot even though they ejaculate and
experience a more intense orgasm if their paraurethral glands are stimulated. It
is for these reasons that it is important for people not to form a concrete
definition of what a G spot is. Each woman will create her own definition, one
valid only for her.
The next question for debate concerns whether or not "all" women have a G spot
or G crest. This is not really a valid question. The G spot indicates the
"sensitivity" of a non-specific area of tissue. The "G-Crest" defines the
swollen "condition" of the paraurethral glands during sexual arousal. There are
no anatomical structures with these names. This is in part why people have
trouble finding it. What one needs to look for are the paraurethral glands. All
women have these and it is likely that they all produce at least a small amount
of fluid that may seep out and mix with the other fluids that are present in
much larger quantities.
NOTE: As in the case of men, these glands can become infected and cause pain and
discomfort during urination. Women who experience chronic urinary infections or
pain should consult with a doctor to see if they may have the female equivalent
of "prostatitis."
How Do You Locate the
Paraurethral Glands?
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How does one locate these paraurethral glands? Quite simply, you locate the
urethra. The urethral opening is located directly above the vaginal opening,
below the clitoris. You can see it with your bare eyes; though it can be hard to
find in some cases. The urethra extends back from the urethral opening, urethral
meatus, into the body, along the front or upper wall of the vagina for 1.5 to 2
inches [3.8 to 5 cm]. While you can see the urethral opening, you cannot see the
paraurethral glands themselves. Using a speculum, you might be able to see the
swollen paraurethral glands projecting into the vagina through the vaginal wall.
The video mentioned below shows this. Adventures people may want to slip a
finger or two into their own or their partner's vagina while they urinate so
they can feel the urine passing through the urethra. This will help you locate
its exact position. Once you have located the urethra, you have a bases for
seeking out a possible area along it that is highly sensitive to stimulation, a
G spot.
In her book Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot Deborah Sundahl presents information
about the anatomy and location of the female prostate gland gathered by Dr.
Zaviacic and published in 1999. He found 70% of women have a ramp-shaped
prostate gland where the thickest part is situated near the urethral opening,
15% have a ramp-shaped prostate where the thickest part is located near the
bladder, 7% have a prostate gland that is thickest near the middle of the
urethra, and 8% of women have a "rudimentary prostate" that has few ducts and
glands. This means one must explore the full length of the urethra, 1.5-2 inches
(3.8-5 cm) along the upper wall of the vagina, when attempting to locate the
G-Spot. This research also indicates more than 90% of women have a well defined
prostate gland, even if they cannot locate it or do not ejaculate.
The Importance of
Clitoral Stimulation!
The clitoris probably holds the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the
clitoris is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become highly aroused. If
she is not highly aroused, her paraurethral glands will not fill with fluid. If
her paraurethral glands are not swollen she may not have a G spot. If her
clitoris is not stimulated she is less likely to reach orgasm, preventing the
rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles that expel and release the
ejaculate. So quite simply, before you can go exploring for the G spot, you must
master clitoral stimulation beforehand. There are women who are orgasmic and
ejaculate when their G spot or vagina alone is stimulated, this ability is
likely to be discovered accidentally versus intentionally.
How Do You Stimulate the
Paraurethral Glands?
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So now that you have an idea as to the location of the G spot, how do you
stimulate it? The most versatile tools to use are your fingers. They are firm
but flexible. They have feeling and give you feedback. For the solo explorer
though, fingers can be a problem. They just are not very long. Plus, if one hand
is stimulating your clitoris, it limits access to your vagina with your other
hand. So in addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators are usually required
for finding and stimulating the G spot. (I will refer to both vibrators and
dildos as dildos for the sake of convenience) Notice I used the plural 'dildos',
not the singular 'dildo'. There is a considerable chance that you may have to
try many different dildos to find the right one.
Choosing a Dildo
How do you pick out a dildo for G spot stimulation? Trial and error. The dildos
that do have a good success rate are those that are curved near the tip, called
G spot stimulators, and penis shaped dildos with a prominent ridge at the
junction of the glans and shaft. Some women find hard plastic dildos work best,
others, soft flexible ones. Some find that makeshift dildos work great,
cucumbers, brush handles, mirror handles, etc. Others prefer slim dildos that
they can be directed at a specific area within their vagina, others prefer their
vagina to be filled and stretched to the maximum. If you are going to buy a
dildo to use for G spot stimulation, be prepared to buy and try many. Any woman
who is seriously considering using dildos needs to be aware that she will most
likely have a collection of favorites, versus one special one. As women's moods
change, so do their dildo needs. While women often start out with one, many soon
find they have a drawer full of them. Some women prize their collections.
To Pee or Not to Pee
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Since the physical act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation,
many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during sex, solo and with a
partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate may find themselves squirting urine
versus actually ejaculating, not being able to tell them apart. This is because
both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to let go and relax
her bladder sphincter and her pelvic muscles. If you keep your bladder sphincter
closed and tighten your pelvic muscles, you cannot urinate or ejaculate. Women
seeking to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or
ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your body
permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission to urinate. You
have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware of the physical
sensations that occur. The sensations of both may be pleasant and
indistinguishable. Hence learning to urinate intentionally at the point of
orgasm may help a woman learn to ejaculate.
Learning to be able to urinate at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier
done alone than with a partner. You will probably find it easier to relax, and
you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the bathtub
has some advantages, one you do not have to worry about the wetness, soaking in
warm water will help relax you, and cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of
water a short while before starting; allow your bladder to fill. It does not
need to feel full, but you do not want it to be empty either. Lie back in the
tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your
clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel nice. You
do not need to necessarily move them back and forth inside your vagina. Allow
the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic
muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.
Think about the act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill
will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point
of orgasm, the stronger the urge to urinate is likely to become. Hold back on
your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold your urine a second longer. At the
point of orgasm press out and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of
the urine escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the urine,
the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push and try to squirt your
urine. It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since you have been
conditioned to maintain strict control over your urination habits. It may also
help to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying out will
help with the release. Scream "YES."
Learning to Ejaculate
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Moving on to ejaculation only requires a couple slight changes in technique.
Empty your bladder first; you will want to let go without a full bladder
producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop, just not be the
result of a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate may not occur without there
being stimulation of your paraurethral glands. This is likely to require the use
of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers or
a dildo stimulate your urethra by massaging the top of your vagina; using only
light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the
opening of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the
clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes. Massaging the urethral
opening may feel pleasant as well. Stimulating your urethra may cause you to
feel the need to urinate, as is desired. Do not fight the urge; go with the
flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply.
If you find a spot that is highly sensitive, you may want to concentrate solely
on it, but you may find it is too sensitive to stimulate directly. If your G
spot is highly sensitive, you may find you are only able to tolerate its
stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has
increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the point of
orgasm. A slow build up, with lots of teasing, may help produce the greatest
urge and strongest orgasm. When orgasm occurs, relax your bladder and press out
as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong
sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing is
lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until after the orgasm has
subsided. Being able to ejaculate may take practice, even if you are able to
squirt urine during orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate, so
you just have to experiment. In any event it should be pleasurable.
With a Partner
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A woman's partner can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a
woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating, she should let her partner
know, not pray that it will not happen again. She should discuss the increased
wetness that occurs with her partner; at least prepare them for it. Hopefully
they will see your ejaculations as erotic. If they do not, reeducating them
about female fluids and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the
ejaculations as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.
There is perhaps one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm
when you are trying to ejaculate, they will not stop the stimulation unless you
tell them too. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out
of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could prevent you from
experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a partner you can agree beforehand
that they will not stop, even if you say, "stop." (Doing this requires using a
"safe word" that indicates, "Stop!" for real. This is a word you are not likely
to say accidentally during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull
away, you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the
stimulation. Of course you should only do these things if you really trust your
partner, they need to be forceful without going to far.
How do you stimulate your partner's paraurethral glands? Your hands provide
excellent tools to use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina,
along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger. Imagine you
want to signal to someone standing across the room that you want them to come
toward you. You turn your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by
making a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the
same thing with one or two fingers inside the vagina. Massaging the upper wall
of the vagina, from the opening back two inches. Start out with a very light
touch. Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward the pubic
bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as a guide. Use a generous amount of
lubrication; even if she is dripping wet.
Start out by getting her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation.
Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her urethral glands. Ask your
partner if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or enjoyable
sensations when you massage it, her G spot. As you sense her getting closer to
orgasm, apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady
rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch
to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she
experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become more
intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase, the more orgasms she has.
If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina, her vaginal muscles may
squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out; press in gently.
You can also stimulate your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This requires
more verbal communication as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing.
She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women may like for the
tip of the vibrator to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full
feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand
may stimulate the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation, even if that is not
the intent.
A woman may also ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a
harness. What does seem to work best are positions that result in the penis or
dildo stimulating the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner
kneels between her knees when she is on her hands and knees, or when she is on
top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting. Some women may
ejaculate during intercourse without even trying; others may find it a
challenge. It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual
massage. Practice makes perfect.
Some Health Concerns
Unfortunately, there can be some negative side affects to massaging the urethra.
The urethra is highly sensitive and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse
can irritate a woman's urethra, resulting in painful urination and infection.
This is especially true of virgins and women with tense pelvic muscles as they
are too tight, resulting in there being too much friction between their vagina
and the thrusting penis or dildo. Intentionally stimulating the urethra
increases the chances of there being irritation and infection. To help prevent
infections and reduce the chances of irritation, a woman should drink lots of
water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation, or sex in
general if you are prone to urinary tract infections. Just release a little bit
of urine before sex if you are trying things with a full bladder. They also
recommend women drink cranberry juice, or take a cranberry supplement, as its
acidic level helps to ward off the bacteria that cause infections. If you
experience irritation, painful urination, or infection, try using less pressure
when massaging or stimulating the urethra. The urethra may become accustomed to
the stimulation with time, but do not torture yourself, or inflict multiple
infections. Have fun, but do not hurt yourself.
The Wetness
Dealing with the wetness. If you ejaculate there may be just a little liquid
expelled or there could be a lot. If you are intentionally squirting urine or
ejaculate repeatedly, there may be a liquid everywhere. Since you usually sleep
where you have sex, ejaculations can present a problem. If you only ejaculate a
little, simply keeping a couple towels near the bed may be the solution. If you
gush, then towels may not be enough. Having a plastic cover on the mattress and
extra sheets may do the trick, though changing the sheets and cleaning up may
not be the way you want to relax after sex. You can buy the bed pads hospitals
use, just say you are caring for a sick child or parent, as they are absorbent
and have a plastic backing. They are sometimes sold with incontinence supplies
at your local store as well. You can try having sex in the tub or shower.
Consider having a second bed or an air mattress to have sex on. For women who
ejaculate every time, regardless of whether they want too, cleanup can be
bothersome at times, and does take some getting use too. Just try to keep a
positive attitude and be prepared with extra towels and sheets. A supportive
partner always helps.
Real or Faked?
I hate to be the barer of bad news, but the chances are, the women seen
ejaculating in adult movies are most likely urinating, not ejaculating. They are
intentionally squirting urine to simulate orgasm and true female ejaculation.
The proof of this is the shear volume they expel. True ejaculation is almost
impossible to capture on film, it is over in a blink of an eye. Even in a video
produced by women, titled 'How to Female Ejaculate', features one woman who,
while appearing to be having real orgasms, is obviously squirting urine, lots of
urine, not just ejaculating. She does enjoy herself immensely though, so it is
entertaining to watch. When I mentioned I thought this girl was urinating, not
ejaculating to the star and producer of this video, she did not deny it. The
other women in the video do appear to actually ejaculate, and I highly recommend
it to those who want to learn how or to just see female ejaculation. Enjoy
mainstream ejaculation videos, but keep in the back of your mind that it is all
fantasy.
From the May 2000 issue of Self magazine.
"Women ejaculate, too
There's more than one way to make a wet spot - in fact, there's a whole camp of
doctors who believe that all women ejaculate when they have an orgasm. In one
study from Florida State University in Tallahassee, 82 percent of women said
they experienced a release of fluid at the moment of orgasm. Haven't noticed
this yourself? "Since most women are lying on their backs during sex and the
amount of fluid is so small [about a teaspoon], it sometimes doesn't come out,"
explains Beverly Whipple, professor at Rutgers University and president of the
American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. "But research
has demonstrated that all women ejaculate a substance through the urethra that
is not urine."”
